Q: I’m basically my niece’s mother now, and I love her. But I want to go back to school and get my life together. Sometimes we can’t find my sister for weeks at a time, so it’s not like my niece is safe with her. What do I do?

I Didn’t Choose To Be A Mom

Dear Reader,

This is a difficult situation that you’re going through! To be able to have the heart and strength to take care of a child that is not your own inspiring. I will say that I know it may be hard and no, it shouldn’t be your responsibility to watch over your niece when you have your own life to live. I have a few thoughts and this is what I can give;

Ask for help.

Ask anyone in your family to help you with your niece, especially if you’re wanting to go back to school. There is no shame in letting people know that you need help. Raising a child is not easy, especially when you didn’t ask to be a parent.

If you’re not open to the idea of still caring for your niece the other option is to consider the thought of really letting the law know the situation. Could you live with knowing a stranger is raising your niece? Could you handle her potentially being in a group home? 

You could also see if another family member will take care of your niece. Someone who has the time and money to take care of the child.

I can’t tell you what to do because raising a child is a big decision, but in my opinion I would say you should ask your family for extra help. Especially if they know the situation. I’m sure someone has some free time or money to spare, even to get the child in daycare for a few hours while you are attending classes.

Try not to be bitter towards the child, they didn’t choose their parents.

I wish you luck on your journey.