Hey Scott,

  This is kind of awkward….so I am dating a man, who isn’t circumcised. I’ve never encountered one of those before, what are the differences? Is there a different way to handle having relations? Oral sex?

 Abamf

Dear Abamf,

Before I start, have you tried talking to him about this?  What he likes done to him?  What works best for him?  That’s always a fantastic starting point for anything in a relationship, sexual or otherwise.

Fun fact: uncircumcised men make up about 19 percent of men in America, according to a 2010 CDC report.  Yet people still find an uncircumcised penis strange or confusing.

From the perspective of a person who has never given oral to an uncircumcised penis before, I have a very limited scope of experience in this area.  

What I can tell you, though, is that circumcised penis or not, it really shouldn’t affect your relations with this man, unless your entire relationship is oral sex (and even then, it shouldn’t be a big deal).  I also know that it is a little bit of extra personal maintenance on his end, but other than that, it doesn’t change much.  Men who are uncircumcised have just as much sensation in their private bits as anyone else would.

When I asked a colleague of mine who had actual experience on this particular subject, she merely stated that you will be using your hands more (to pull down the extra foreskin), which you should already be doing anyway!

It will probably be something different than what you’re used to and that can be a good thing!  

Dear Scott,

I’m wanting to buy my first (sex) toy.  I’ve done a little research online and I’m interested in a vibrator.  What do you recommend and why?  

From Lacking Luster

Dear Lacking,

There are SO MANY different options for vibrators specifically, and it’s going to take some time and effort to figure out what really works for you.  How (and where) you intend to use your toy should also guide what you look for.  

If you’re wishing to stimulate your anus (as some men and women are wont to do), you may want to first try some digital play (fingers) or get a “prostate” toy.  I put prostate in quotations because depending on your personal needs, some toys can stimulate your prostate while not being specifically advertised as such.

If you’re wishing to stimulate your clitoris, there are plenty of amazing clitoral vibrators out there, such as the

If you’re looking to stimulate your g-spot or A-spot, a solid dildo (vibrating or otherwise) could definitely work you up.

If you’re looking for dual-/multi-stimulation (i.e. clitoris and internal), rabbit-style toys could be for you (but beware, these are usually expensive and rarely hit every spot just right, according to some well-trusted toy reviewers).  I would recommend using a combination of a clit stimulator and one that hits whatever preferred internal spot the right way.

The key is to experiment with a multitude of toys (I know, it’s expensive, but well worth it) and to figure out what type of stimulation works best for you.  If my answer still leaves you a bit confused, I recommend heading into your local sex shop and getting some opinions from the employees there.  Scope out some products.  And if you’re a bit nervous about going into a shop, check out my article for first-time shoppers below: