Q: My boyfriend wants children, like, now… but I don’t even graduate for another year! Plus, I want to establish a career first. Is there any hope for us?

Not Ready

Dear reader,

This is a complex question, not because it’s a difficult one but because it depends on your relationship. There are a few things you must first ask about your relationship:

1. Does he get aggressive about the topic? To where you can’t talk about it without arguing?
2. Does he show you action on him being “ready to be a father”?
3. Is he respectful of you getting your education/career?

There should never be any pressure for you to dive into having children for the sake of a relationship if you are not ready. If a man truly loves you he will never pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do. If he truly loves you he will be in no rush because he knows he will be possibly spending his life with you.

Although, does he seem to just be over-excited about building a family with you?

Either way, I would sit down with him and voice your feelings; there is no running away from the topic. And you shouldn’t put it off, even if you may not want to upset him. Tell him you aren’t ready for children, that you want to build yourself before bringing another human being into the mix. If his response is gentle and understanding you guys are solid. If he becomes upset, you will know your answer.