Actor Invades White House
White House security has confirmed that actor Alec Baldwin was escorted from the White House after spending a day impersonating President Trump in the Oval Office.
In an unprecedented breach of security, the prolific actor known for his roles in Hollywood classics such as Beetlejuice, The Hunt for Red October, and the TV series 30 Rock and Saturday Night Live, arrived at the White House in a limousine disguised as the presidential “Beast” and entered the West Wing dressed up as the President. According to staff witnesses, he turned on the TV and watched a Fox News report in which he (AKA Donald Trump) was being praised for his role in bolstering the Stock Market, before taking to his phone to Tweet about how the enemies of the United States would try to infiltrate the White House and sow discord among our country.
As the day progressed, his presence in the Oval Office began to lead to suspicions as Baldwin’s liberal leanings manifested in several executive actions, including a delay of the Dakota Pipeline on the basis of “gaining support to raise funds for the wall,” and greater protection of the environment in order to “make more money off of it.” But it wasn’t until Baldwin, a known vegetarian, refused to eat the well-done steak dinner presented to him that the Secret Service realized they’d been duped.
When word of Mr. Baldwin’s deceit reached the President, he was quoted as saying, “The liberal menace won’t get away with this. He is a 3rd-rate actor, his ratings are trash. SNL is failing in the ratings and they should apologize for their slander and fake news. When I get back from Mar-a-Lago, or the Winter White House, I’m going to put a ban on anybody who supports the Democratic Party, or watches SNL, from entering the White House.”
This statement garnered praise from Trump’s supporters, but a greater majority voiced opposition, claiming that this was another attempt by the president to homogenize the political landscape in favor of the Republican Party. Trump later Tweeted that everyone who opposed him was guilty of preventing America from being great again.
How exactly did Baldwin manage to fool the Secret Service and White House staff for an entire day? When asked for comment, Press Secretary Sean Spicer offered this: “Baldwin has been impersonating President Trump since last October. His unflattering and quite frankly, rude representations of the President aside, that’s more than enough time for an actor, hack or otherwise, to get a good feel for someone’s behavior.” While White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus declined to comment, an anonymous White House staffer claims that Baldwin’s impersonation was so spot on that “His actions and mannerisms left no doubt in our minds that he was in fact the President of the United States.”
Of greater interest is the fact that the tweets Baldwin sent out during that day were sent out over President Trump’s own Twitter account. The President’s use of an unsecured Android phone in the White House has been a security concern for months, but two questions are now raised due to this incident: How did Baldwin gain access to the Twitter account, and how was the President unaware that the Tweets being sent out over his account weren’t his own? While the security community is investigating how the account got hacked, many are wondering if Baldwin’s impersonation of the President’s tweeting style was so good that the President assumed that he had absent-mindedly sent out the Tweets himself.
Speculation abounds that this is not the first time that a U.S. President has been impersonated within the White House. Former President George W. Bush was well known for being impersonated during his presidency, and some staffers and congressional members suspect that they had at some point conversed with impressionist Steve Bridges, who famously portrayed the former president during the 2006 White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, during regular White House hours. We reached out to former President Bush and Steve Bridges for comment, but a representative for the former President stated that he was too busy painting a portrait of Mr. Bridges to give a statement, while Steve Bridges responded that he himself was too busy painting a portrait of President Bush to comment.
Bryden Smith • Apr 6, 2017 at 10:05 pm
“While the security community is investigating how the account got hacked, many are wondering if Baldwin’s impersonation of the President’s tweeting style was so good that the President assumed that he had absent-mindedly sent out the Tweets himself.”
Hilarious.