Pinnacle Staff Obituaries
It's Halloween and the Pinnacle staff has met some spooky ends. Strangely enough, they left behind some pre-written obituaries, almost as if they were expecting what was to happen to them. . .
Nothing Kills Jake Tharan
Jake Tharan died on Monday, October 30, 2016. He was taking a late night walk through a cemetery in an unknown location, as he found it fitting with Halloween on the way. He was enjoying the brisk air while surveying the eerie land before he was assailed by an unknown force. He could not identify his shapeless attacker; it was as if a phantom had launched an assault on him. Wrestling with the apparition,...
Ashlyn Stetzel’s Fatal Pitfall
Ashlyn Victoria Stetzel, 18, of Littleton, died October 28, 2016 as a result of injuries sustained in a tragic theatre accident after falling into the pit the day before opening night. She was born July 22, 1998 in Tucson, Arizona to parents Jeff and Ann Marie Stetzel. She attended DeGrazia Elementary School in Tucson and attended middle and high school in the Littleton Public School system. She ...
The Stationary Death of Nico Danks
Nico died as she lived; clumsily with more or less good intentions. No one was surprised when the charted cause of death was "accident by falling off a stationary bike". As a zealous recycler, she requested that her body be composted in the ACC south garden. If one wishes, they can use her skull as a paper weight, or better yet, an ashtray. A former smoker, Nico dearly missed her American Spirits...
Professor Proves Pipeline’s Lethality
Jamey Trotter--father, husband, teacher, actor, balleribro, son, brother, commissioner, sumbitch, and Arapahoe Pinnacle Adviser--died today while protesting the Dakota pipeline. A witness on the scene says that the professor "said a lot of bad words" in the general direction of the heavily-armed corporate army, who then opened fire on the 40-year-old who wore a tweed coat with elbow patches ...
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