Dear Scott,

My boyfriend and I are essentially exact opposites when it comes to our political persuasions; we are both really passionate about what we believe and when we talk about politics we both get heated.  Our discussions usually end in serious frustration and sometimes a disagreement that leaves us brooding for an hour or so.  My boyfriend thinks we should take discussing politics off the table, I disagree.  What do you think?  -From Practically Political

Dear Practically Political,

I answered a similar question in last week’s Ask Scott, and my answer to you will be similar, but with a few key differences.

Personally, I believe that anything and everything should be able to be put on the table to talk about.  I also realize that there are many subjects that can really upset people and/or trigger some pretty awful reactions.  With these things in mind, my best advice would be to have a civil, frank discussion about the pros and cons of both talking about politics in your relationship and not talking about politics in your relationship.

A fair support for keeping politics on the table would be that it has conversational and practical merit.  Politics matter, as policies that affect us are created by people we vote (or don’t vote) for.

Were I to go down this route, I would also venture to include some specific, rigid ground rules to keep both parties in line: no interrupting; no fallacious ad hominum arguments; no yelling; respect is a must; and a mandatory break for chips and drinks every 15 minutes.  But in all seriousness, laying down ground rules and perhaps having a discussion about how your political discourse should happen would be the most beneficial.

A fair support for removing politics from the table is keeping the stability and sanity of your relationship.  It’s a wise person who understands the virtue of a good debate; it is a wiser person who understands the virtue of silence.

I learned this lesson after a fight with a very close friend; she even went so far as to say that were we to keep arguing over politics as we were, that we couldn’t be friends any longer.  This really struck me.  I realized that yes, these issues we argue about are arguably important; that the arenas we fight in become the banners we bare.  But at the same moment, I also realized that in order to preserve a healthy relationship, we must be able to recognize when it is appropriate to enter these arenas, and when to let peace lie.

Dear Scott,

My question is, can kids go into a sex shop?  Lately, I have wanted to go get some stuff in the hopes of surprising my fiancé but if I have free time I usually have a baby on my hip.  I mean, it’s not really acceptable to leave them in the car. Soooo can I bring them in or does the 18 and older rule apply? -Time-Strapped Father

Dear Time-Strapped,

As someone who works at a sex shop, I can assure you that the 18 and over rule most definitely applies.  No exceptions.  It is Colorado law that any person (and children who have been born count as persons) entering a sex shop must be able to produce a current, legal photo identification verifying that they are 18 years of age or older.

I definitely understand the need to bring more flavor into your romantic and sex life while struggling to find the time for either sex or romance.  That said, there are definite solutions for your situation: you could enlist a friend to watch the child, either at home or in the car with them, or go online shopping (although I recommend dedicating some time to research before buying ANY sex toy or product online).

Should you go the online route, there are a few reputable sites and companies that you can rely on pretty readily.  SheVibe is not only one of the most trusted online shops, but they offer discount after discount after discount, making it really difficult to not save money on your purchases.

Tantus Inc. is one of my personal favorite toy companies and for a few good reasons: their toys are made of extremely high-quality silicone, which is both a body-safe and comfortable material; they’re notorious for giving incredible discounts on some of their pricier products if you’re willing to forgo the product’s box and receive a random color (which are usually very agreeable).  These wonderful deals are called Grab Bags and are one of my favorite ways to fill out my toy collection.

These are only two of a plethora of trusted companies, and I’d be more than happy to pass on any more.

Feel free to contact me directly if you would like any more recommendations on products/brands to look for when shopping for you, your partner, or both, at [email protected].